"Wants" and "Needs"

A thought came into my mind…

Is there really a thin line between what you “want” and what you “need” in life?
Should you obviously go towards what you “need” before the “wants?”
But what if the “need” is what you “want?”
Should you still go towards the “need” first?
Or does it really matter?

Confused?

You hear people tell you that no matter what life throws at you, you should decide what is something you “need” to do…or “need” to have before you place the “wants” into consideration.

For example…You have only 10 dollars. You know you “need” to have a gallon of milk for breakfast for your kids…and cereal. You should save the other 4 dollars you have left over for something important like let’s say gas to get you to work to make more money. But standing in the line, you realize you haven’t had bacon in a long time. So…do you take the few dollars you have and get the bacon or do you save it?

Any person is going to probably save it, and buy bacon on a later date. But…was it not the whole reason you going to the store were to get breakfast for your kids? Is bacon not a breakfast food? Was the 4 dollars only going to be saved for…emergencies?

Let’s make this more complex.

You have before you…two paths. Down path (A) you have everything that you “need” in life to become successful; a good paying job, a house, a nice vehicle, food and clothes. Down path (B) you have everything you ever wanted; a family, a yacht, vacations every summer, a winter house down in Florida, and biggest entertainment set up on the market.

When any logical person looks at this, they will tell you, you need to go down path (A) before you can even think about path (B). But…what if in someone’s mind…being successful is having a family and a nice job…that’s it? What if being successful meant being able to take a vacation every summer?

I think I came to the conclusion that your “wants” are not just based off of materialistic things. After all, you could "want" someone in your life and that said person would be someone you "need" as well to brighten your day, make you smile, or to simply be able to pick you off your butt and give you that smile to help you continue. Sometimes your “wants” intertwine with what you “needs” and when they do I think it then comes down to how you handle your situation, and how you balance everything out.

Balance. Such a major role in life that I don’t think people look closely at. Everything is stuck on asking God for help…or some higher being. Why cant people take THEIR life in their OWN hands, role the dice, take a chance, and go with it? Fear right? Well, duh! Everyone is scared that they will role the dice poorly, or make the wrong move. But it’s all about learning from that experience, and moving on further. Did God not say something along the lines of help yourself before you expect help from him? I know…shitty translation. The point…I am all up for God or that higher Power, being that comfort, that “go-to-guy” or whatever you want to call him. But…to just sit back and say “meh, I’ll let the big guy upstairs determine that,” just…irks me I guess.

Anyway…balance. Call this anything you want…the light and dark, right and wrong, left and right…Taylor and Tyler…Whatever…the point of it is to take everything in your life and make it work out for the best…for YOU. Not worrying about how your mom is going to feel if you go to a friend’s house before they move away. Or how neighbor Suzzy is going to feel if you miss one Book Reading Club Night to see your favorite T.V. show. Sometimes pushing your “needs” away for a “want” is not a sin…or something that people should look poorly upon…but yet learn that doing something just because you can, or want to helps YOU feel better, or relaxed…or just plain out make you smile.

I don’t know, I think as life becomes more progressed, and you move from the childish life you once lived and into the more adult version…you realize that there is no going back to change what once was. Or…fix something that you broken over something silly like money. That life is indeed something you must take by the horns…or you find yourself in the fetal position in the corner.

As I come to this foggy road of new dreams, new “wants”…new “needs,” new obstacles…I find that one thing will always remain the same; the fear of not knowing what’s ahead. A twig or rock that trips me or that knight standing above with his hand out to me. And I think my biggest dilemma is…do I continue looking forward without wondering why the path behind me came to a stop as it did so quickly, and painfully…or do I look back every now and then to see what I did have? Would looking back only hurt me…make me realize how much of a failure I was to not only my family and friends, but to myself? Perhaps make me realize how much I took for granted; my mother no longer being there to put me back on my feet, my friends not there to make me smile. Nothing.

And I can’t even see what lies ahead. It’s nothing but a foggy mess.

I already took the chance…rolled the dice, and now it’s time to take that first step onto this new path. Out with the old and in with the new. I’m no longer that little girl people picked on; I’m a woman with a heart torn and dreams broken. It’s now in my hands to fix them. Make them right…or at least better. And tho I “want” to have someone by my side, I know it’s not something I “need,” but yet, I know it’ll help.

Do I still draw that thin line?
Or do I just continue with what makes me…happy?