As it stands…it’s Christmas day.
Tho I should be smiling and laughing, and being with my family and unwrapping gifts, I sit at the computer typing this. Why? Ever since I was 14…the holidays that mark the end of the year, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, have never been the same. And it seems the more and more the years roll on, the more doll the holidays get. I cant even go to sleep the night before with excitement in my heart. If anything…I’m more excited about leave and starting my life.
And that brings me to my mood.
I woke up hearing my talking to her mother about, pretty much everything that’s going on. And one thing that came up…me. How I’m a failure here and wont amount to anything if I stay with mom. And it’s like…wow…I cant believe that’s how I woke up and started my X-Mas morning. But, what was worse was how my mother started to act as if I didn’t hear anything she said…so…it’s heartbreaking to know my mother feels that way, and she doesn’t have faith in when I finally get to TN.
So…now I have something to prove to not only myself…but my mom. To show her that I’m not a failure, that I CAN make it in this world and that I will get my Doctorial and become a surgeon.
So…that’s my thoughts when it came to this ‘wonderful time of the year.’
God, I hope next year is better then this one.
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