Funniest Thing I Have Ever Read ((PT. 3))

Better then before...? Perhaps...still funny as fuck....from the same site...lol

((WARNING!!! May Not Be suitable....of fuck it...just read it!!!))

Someone: Best suicide plan ever
Unknown: what is it?
Someone: You go up to the top of a roof. String piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level. Tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched. Then you put super glue on your hands. And put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head, Then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows. When the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere. And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
Unknown: i dont think i can be your friend anymore


Unknown: do you know a turtles only weakness?
Someone: no
Someone: well
Someone: thier slowness
Unknown: no, there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
Someone: lol
Unknown: now i have a plan
Unknown:: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable


Unknown:: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
Someone: Spider Man
Anonymous: batman
Bob: batman
Unknown: I'd be god


Someone: you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots. I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT!! the Trix rabbit, for example. I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids. I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY. Fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit. "silly rabbit Trix are for kids" Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed. FUCK NO!! that wouldn't fly with me.I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches. and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more. and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid? I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him" NO!!! I'd be thinking, "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?" Another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast" Last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast. They show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
Unknown not me. I don't even EAT breakfast no more. I mean, I eat when I get up. But the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME" Bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money. Don't give me that shit.
Someone: Back to stupid cereal mascots...Lucky Charms...FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS~ Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!? C'mon now, Lucky. I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE! Or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches. "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
Someone: ....
Someone: KILL THEM, BITCH! I dunno why I went off on this rant here It's just always bothered me.