...Everything In-between...

So, more shit to get off my chest! Well, I dont know weather or not to post about Krystal first, My other lil sister or myself.

Lets start with Krystal...

The basics with Krystal...Her mom is being a bitch. Not only to her...but now to me, and her boyfriend. Her mom thinks we tell Krystal what to say, and that Krystal has us over so she looks big and bad. How the fuck is that suppose to work out!? We are there to help her, comfort her. I mean come on. I'm her best friend and her boyfriend is...well is there anything more to say about?! I mean are we suppose to sit there and not care? Act like how her mom is, and just pretend she is ok?? Well, I'm sorry...but I cant. Luna is the closest thing I have to an older sister, to a sister period (Besides my lil sis), she is my best friend. She is part of my life!!! I cant sit there and fucking pretend that what her mom is doing to her isnt hurting her. Unlike what her mom is doing. God....what the fuck!?!?!?!

Now, today I just got a call from a very long time friend, a younger chick, my little sister as I would call her. Now...I know she may not be as close to me as she was before, or the fact that she is as close to me as Luna is...but she is still my little sister, and I love her much. So, when she called me...to tell me that her and her boyfriend are still dating. I was happy. (Note: Her boyfriend is black, and she is white). This...is not a issue AT ALL to me. Anyway, she sat there and told me everything is pretty good. She's about to turn 18 =) about to graduate high school =) She is paying her diver's ed with HER OWN BIRTHDAY MONEY!!! <-- That made me really proud!!! Regardless that her mom would and could buy it, she would prefer to buy it herself. Which again I say...I am proud. <3 college =")">Me and D.J were going around the state, I was showing him places of interest, and places where I grew up. I got to Fairlee...my hometown, and showed him where my grandparents' store use to be, to where the trailer was where I lived when we met the first time. And when we were there, I saw my dad throwing something away in the dumpster. Confused I walked up to him cause he looked like he didnt shower for a while, and wore clothes that had holes in them and everything. I walked up happy to see him tho, after what seemed like forever, and introduced him to D.J. We stood there and talked for like hours, until he gave me one last kiss said "Keep flying my butterfly" and he walked away. I fell to my knees crying.

Then I woke up.

Anyway....mom called the guy my dad was suppose to be staying with, and he told her that the week after my dad last saw me and my brother, he bought a bus ticket and left. He didnt know where, just knew he left. At this point when mom told me, I was in a panic. I couldnt believe that my dad would run away...and leave me. I mean I knew without a doubt he would call had he wanted to do something like that. My mom called his brother. Jr. Said he didnt know either, but he called his sister, Sissy, and she said that he was there. Mom started talking to dad, and to find out he left because he couldnt stand being down there knowing that we were never gonna go down there. And at least this way he was still with his family. Tho it hurts that dad isnt with me, I truly believe its best that he spends time with his brothers and sister before they...pass. Especially Jr. He is very old and needs an oxygen tank all the time. So, like my mom has always told me...God works in mysterious ways...and this is indeed one of them. Tho I know he is fine, I still miss him like crazy, and I told him that once I got a job, a car and my license I would be there every weekend to see him! And that is indeed a promise I intend to keep!

Now...to my mom.....

She finally got it thru her head that what she and her "love" was doing, was not right. He was married, she still was, and now he might be leaving to go to Italy in a year. Mom even said if he did she was leaving Maryland (where we are lol). Anyway...mom started reading this book about Mother and Daughter relationship...about how what the mom does and doesnt do will play a rule in my future life. She wants me to read it, to understand what she is slowly understanding now. Ok...fine and dandy. I sat there and told her that her drinking is something I dont like...and she said she is a social drinker. Bullshit! Every time she goes to her boss' house...she drinks. And she is over there at least 4 times out of the week. I asked her, just once, go there and not drink. And she says I cant. And I said...then you are a drinker! An Alchy if you will. Her real father was an abusive drunk, her brother was the same way, and it almost grabbed her mother. And when I told her that the reason why she drinks is because of the fact that she is pushing the thought of her "love" my dad, me, my brothers, and the bills and everything else that is bothering her..out for a while. She denied it. Another point in her being an Alchy. I asked her to stop...and she said..."I dont want to." Again...Alchy point. Then...just a few minutes ago she said that she didnt want to live the remainder of her older days alone. That she would get with back with dad if need be. She herself said this need to feel a Man's want is because of the fact her father left her and didnt want her, and that carried on thru all of her life. Sad and dumb as it sounds...it makes since.

Anyway...

I found out my mom had an affair after I was 3 months old...I didnt know about this. And know I understand why my dad keep her "on a short leash." Tho it wasnt right...he had his reasons. And with that fact, and the fact that she did what she did with her "love" he wont take her back. She knows it. So what now...every time she gets remotely close to a guy is she gonna turn around and make it a relationship so she isnt alone?!?!?! That's retarded!!! Stupid!!!

Lastly I say this.....WTF!?!?!?!?