Mom just came in and said her "love" isn't moving to Italy, that he is moving to DE (state right next to us...like 30 mintues away) and that he is getting his wife and daughter back together. Ok..that is really great for him! He is only staying with his wife cause of his daughter. Ok...understandable. BUT! As far as my mom and his relationship is concerned...depending on the "circumstances"....they MIGHT go back to doing what they both know is wrong! Even my mom sat there and said that them having a relationship in the manner that they were doing it in was WRONG! But...now they might just turn around and do it all over again...why...just cause she doesn't want to live her "old days" alone?????

Maybe this wont be so short....

She sat there the other day and told me to think about what I hated about her. Ok...you know hate is a very strong word..but for the sake of me right now...I'm gonna use it!

What I Hate About My Mother:

• She smokes tho she knows she should stop
• She drinks way more then she should...and she knows she should stop
• She has an affair...not only once....but now....regardless that her marriage is "over"
• She has this mind set of "having to be with a man"
• She doesn't know how to relax...to stay at home and be with me, or my bro
• She keeps telling me promises and then turns around and finds away to break them without making it seem like she was the bad person
• Instead of teaching me how to do things...she forces me to do them
• She thinks she can just change everything in one night
• Doesn't even try to understand how I feel about any of this..and when I tell her...She will tell me I have to get over it. This is her life, not mine.

She said that years down the road the things I hate about my mom I will do. Ummm....I can tell you right now...I would NEVER cheat or have an affair with someone...I wouldn't hurt the person I promised my life to unless it was OFFICIALLY over! And on that note I wouldn't do it with a man (have an affair) that is married and has a FIVE YEAR OLD FUCKING DAUGHTER!!!!!

Do you see why this angers me so...? It's stupid...childish....immature! Yet, I'm the one that needs to grow up...get a job...get my own place...my own car. All when I'm 18??? Wasn't I suppose to have this fun part of my life...where I go out...have fun...get drunk...maybe go to jail for the night?! I mean...something?! Apparently not! I'm suppose to be out and an ADULT when I'm 18...yet she sits there and calls me a kid...an immature kid that isn't an adult until I am 21 cause that is the legal age to drink. Does that even fucking make sense!?!?! No, I didn't think so.

God, this is just too much...I mean...not as much as I couldn't stand it..but the stupid-ness of it....the retardation...the immaturity on her part....God..it's dumb. And really just getting old. I expect this out of a teenager. You know...the affair thing...but not my OWN MOTHER! Not someone that sat there and taught me to be loyal, trusting, helpful, and to set morals for myself. I do...I have thru my whole life...and now I see...

Did she want me to do this just because she didn't? Is it because she knew how she was, and she didn't want me to turn into that?? Well ya know what....I can defiantly say I will not do that!! I personally will not do what my mother has done to me.

It just....ARGH!!!!!